Communication

Building Your Culture

Here at Royal Frenchel, the most important part of living with dogs and training is the attitudinal context you bring to your dogs. The key is adopting an attitude that you’re connecting with a beloved friend, an endlessly valuable individual you’ll learn more about every day. This is the foundation of a truly great relationship! While dogs have been part of human lives for centuries, our understanding of them and what it takes to build healthy relationships is always evolving. We’ve welcomed dogs into our homes and made them part of our most intimate families, yet sometimes we fall back on outdated ways, treating them like objects rather than cherished companions. When we do this, we miss their needs, and they can become anxious, mistrustful, or even disobedient. It’s so easy to have a natural, intuitive relationship with your dog—one that’s fulfilling and free from struggle! It just takes getting to know them as a unique personality, someone so special no one could ever take their place. Let me share a simple way to start: the “5 Minute Hands-On Play,” a fun, effective exercise to deepen your bond. If you have a Royal Frenchel, you’ve received this training from me, Anahata Graceland, known as “Rare.” If not, you can access it in Chapter 5.

The key first and foremost, is to connect with your dog through your heart, in a soul-to-soul way. Sound a bit out there? Ask someone you love if they’d want you to connect with them like that. No one ever says no. It’s the most important thing you can do, and it feels good, it’s easy. Simply focus on a mind of inquiry, holding an interest in truly knowing who your dog is. Look to understand them in detail, learning more intimately about them each day. Ask your dog questions, then hold some silence afterward, resting in the quiet space that holds the answer. You won’t always hear a reply, but over time, you’ll gain insights, a sweet closeness, a knowing that replaces rote interactions. You’ll feel a deep love and affinity for your four-legged friend in a new way, intuitively slowly coming to “know” things about them.

Human-Canine Laws

First Things First – A Person’s Responsibility to their Dog

Because we’ve bred dogs for our joy and brought them into our world, I believe the first responsibility in a healthy human-canine relationship falls to us. That’s why I follow three laws every day to create balance and well-being with my dogs.

Law #1 – Witness

Witnessing your dog means truly seeing them by connecting with an interest in who they are, from your heart. Every day, look into your dog’s eyes and see the individual they are. Notice, observe, wonder and cultivate a sense of inquiry into their depth and who they are as people. Make it fun to discover something new about them each day. As you relate to them as an individual, you’ll learn the subtle details of their behavior, their personality and what they need to be happy and balanced. And you will enjoy it naturally because humans are just created that way! We enjoy valuing life and the uniqueness of it when we witness it in another animal or human.

Law #2 – Consistent Physical Care

Your dog’s physical needs; food, water, rest, outdoor time, grooming— need be met consistently. Rhythm and timeliness matter! Like children (or adults), dogs thrive on regular feeding times, outdoor breaks, and ample rest. Meeting these needs helps them relax and become trusting companions. Think of someone everyone loves—maybe the old guy up the street, always reliable, with a kind word or a candy in his pocket. That steady, slow-moving reliability is a way of life worth embracing with your dog.

Law #3 – Attentive Interaction

You need wholesome, interactive time with your dog every day, where your focus is entirely on them. It might be play, cuddles, or something else they love. Make it nourishing, specific to your dog, and something you genuinely enjoy. Look into their eyes and engage in what brings you both joy. If you have a pack of dogs, each one needs this individual time. Give at least 5 to 10 minutes of this canine-specific attention daily, focused on your dog and their world. Not just petting them while you check emails! You’ll have other moments, gardening, cooking, where you share energy, but those aren’t canine-specific. They can’t replace time centered on your dog. Here’s the wonderful thing: 5 to 10 minutes of canine-specific interaction each day, alongside doing what the other laws suggest, is usually enough to keep your pup balanced. Dogs are inherently happy creatures—they love the rhythm of daily life. Meet them in that joy, and they’ll stay content, weaving other activities into a positive flow. You create a joyful feedback loop, and you get to step into it too! These laws set the stage for all my interactions with my dogs. They also govern my right to correct unwanted behavior. If I’ve been absent and my dog acts up, I don’t just correct them. I first re-establish the witness, getting close and noticing what’s going on. I give at least 15 positive inputs; petting, a treat, a kind word, before correcting. No I don’t count the interaction… I simply overwhelm myself with their goodness, recognizing all they are first. Once this is a habit, it’s astounding how well it works to ease the way for living well with your dog and dealing with any challenge. Take my dog Bongo, who needed cleaning twice daily due to a quirky tail. When I clean him, I use warm water, look into his eyes, and talk to him about his day. It’s specific, caring, and he comes to me excited for our ritual, even though it’s not comfy! If I cleaned him mindlessly, just to get it done, it’d be a negative input, eroding trust. That’s the difference between practicing all three laws and just one. Dogs know who the pack leaders are—those who command respect with eye contact, calm presence, and care, not dominance. When we live these laws, we embody worthy leadership, and our dogs naturally respond, unlocking deeper communication and joy…. Otherwise, we end up with a negative input, eroding trust. That’s the difference between just practicing Law #2 and living all three laws with heart.

Dogs know who the true pack leaders are because of these behaviors: Pack leaders command respect with eye contact, calm presence, and consistent behavior. They don’t abuse power or mistreat the pack. They know every individual, recognizing their unique role. These leaders are often quiet, watchful and not loud dominators. When we practice all three laws, we embody this worthy leadership, and our dogs naturally respond. This unlocks a deeper connection, blending our human energies with their canine instincts for richer communication and joy.

As you live these laws, you’ll develop an intuitive capacity to know your dog. This isn’t strange, it’s the natural result of paying attention. You’ll notice hundreds of tiny cues—muscle twitches, eye flicks, how they move in their space. Your mind can’t catalog them all, but your intuition will weave them into insights. You might see flashes of their day in your mind—like who’s feeding them when you’re away, or hear their bark in your minds eye while you’re out, later learning a stranger stopped by. I’ve called my kennel from miles away, sensing my dogs barking, and asked the team to bring them in. New staff are amazed, and yet, it’s just the magic of truly knowing your pack! You might feel gut instincts too—like checking their being because their step seems off or sensing they need a bathroom break. These moments become another language between you and your dog, growing from the three laws well lived. The more you witness, care, and engage, the more you’ll feel like trusted friends, sharing a flow that’s fun and effortless. If you want to dive deeper into intuition, drop me a note—I’ll keep you on my mailing list for our training series on growing this intuitive connection and bond.

A Dog’s Responsibility to Their Person

Once I’m meeting my dogs’ needs through the three laws, I expect certain things in return. For example, they know where to go to the bathroom, and if they slip up, they’re in “trouble”—even days later, because our relationship is strong. Housebreaking is easy when you’ve built trust—it’s less about training and more about saying, “Hey, we’re a team; no messes in our space!” Every dog has unique traits tied to their breed or personality. Take my dog Bella, a working breed. If she doesn’t have tasks, she gets snippy or restless. Because I witness her (Law #1), I know this and give her jobs to stay balanced. If she’s cared for but still growls at a guest, I correct her: I get close, verbally correct, and lightly nip her neck with my fingers (mimicking a canine nudge), saying, “Absolutely not.” I distract her with play or another activity. If she misbehaves again, I use a firmer tone, a slightly stronger nip, then ignore her for 5–20 minutes—no treats, no attention. This shows her the behavior doesn’t work. A third correction is rarely needed when the relationship is solid. Dogs aren’t limited by a “7-second memory”—that’s a myth. With a real bond, their memory is long, even lifelong, just like a good friend’s. Basic Dog Law: Do What’s Needed for the Pack’s Health and Balance In my home, dogs must contribute to the well-being of our pack, human and canine together. This means: No pooping or peeing indoors. No fighting over food. No bullying dogs or humans. No harassment barking (but conversational barks, like “I need water,” are fine). Come when called for safety. Chew toys, not furniture! These rules keep everyone happy and balanced. Our relationship is a constant conversation, whether we notice it or not. Tune into it, and you’ll unlock worlds of connection with your dog. Make it fun and respectful, remembering you’re interacting with a unique soul—call it a person, individual, whatever feels right. Keep the context of interrelationship, awake to your dog’s nature, needs, and intelligence. Practice the three laws, expect the 4th. Hold your dog to their responsibilities, and your bond will bloom with depth, ease, and love!